Sunday, April 3, 2011

Sometimes I just wish I could feel...

There are so many things that I've been thinking about lately...and I try to get them out of my head and they don't come out quite right.  I'm tired of feeling nothing but pain, nothing but a tiredness in my soul that seems to encompass me more and more each day.  Steps taken to try and do something different to help make things better--all seem to fail.  It's hard for those around me to realize what I'm going through, and even harder for me to deal with that on top of everything else.  I know there are others out there who know what I am going through, and in truth it does help to read about that.  Makes me feel not quite so alone.  I have to say, though, I am finding it harder and harder to feel good even about the things I should feel good about.
My husband is changing into something I am not familiar with, or perhaps it is me changing causing him to change....but there are some days when I wonder if we will make it. 
Having 'Fibromyalgia' sucks.  Being looked at and treated like there is nothing wrong with you, it's all in your head, or maybe you're just looking for drugs... that makes it even worse. 
It's funny though--when I was working helping others who were in pain.  I always believed what they told me and treated them with some sort of respect. Where did that go?  To be a patient advocate?