Friends, Romans... Crazy Women

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  

That's how my day started off, yesterday.  Door bell rings---the neighbor, her loudmouth friend and some other woman is at my door.  "Do you know what you're daughter did?"  "I'm tired of this, it has got to stop."  "Around back, she wrote in chalk, we don't have to put up with this." 
So I shut the door and lock it, walk to the back and go outside....  "A" had written "I HATE YOU" in front of the neighbor's gate on the public sidewalk in front of the parking lot.  
I said I did not know she did it or it wouldn't be there.  "WEll you only have one child you need to control her." (this coming from the Loudmouth friend I'll call "D") 
"I'm going to housing, command and calling the mps' to press harassment charges, this has got to stop, my daughter shouldn't have to put up with this, your daughter rang the doorbell every 5 min for 6 hours (which she did ring the doorbell but it couldn't have been that much!!!), and she screams when she is riding her bike and it makes "M" cry and she knows it upsets her and does it anyway. So I've had enough and I'm going to go to housing, command and the mps."  That came from "C"  paraphrasing...
I told her go ahead.  When I found out about the doorbell I told A to stop it and made her write an apology which we taped to the post beside C's shed because she told us way before this at the beginning of it all "You leave me and mine alone and we will leave you and yours alone.  I'm calling this friendship over."  So I didn't risk taking it into her door...
Anyone can scream riding their bike--people do it all the time... 
and I made her scrub the sidewalk off and she is punished for what she did.  

 
Confused yet?  If you don't know the whole story--C used to be what I thought was a very good friend, looking back now it was mostly a one sided relationship and I was clearly a throw away friend.. it's amazing how you can go literally from being awesome one day to being not worthy to even talk to the next.  

For the past 18 months we've been friends---how did we meet? Officially it was earlier but when we became good friends was this:  Well her son is autistic, he was out waiting for Santa to come around in the fire truck--and they were throwing candy out from the truck--he didn't get what he wanted because the other kids jumped into the mix and took it--he was very upset, crying throwing himself to the ground and about 2 blocks from their home... I went up and carried him to the house because C was pregnant and I didn't want her carrying him--went and got candy from our house and gave it to him and he settled down.  Over the time I have done many things... always taking them food because certain things I make too much of or knew she liked, took her daughter to co-op because C was going to school that day so that M could go.  The very first day I got my first lidocaine infusion for pain management I watched her kids because her older son was going to school and she had no one else she 'trusted' to watch them and she was also going to school. So I don't even know if that would have worked had I actually rested and relaxed when I came home. My husband cut her grass because her husband was deployed... I Jumped her smart car, not once, but twice taking everything out myself and if you know where the battery is in a smart car it is a pia to get to--under the floor of the passenger seat and you have to remove this big thing of foam to get to the battery--yet I did it, and then she accidently shut the car off when I had everything back together and I had to redo it--keep in mind I am in pain 24/7.   
I never minded doing anything for her, because she has a bigger family, her husband was away and most importantly she was what I considered a friend...

  I have no idea what started that wedge, because it had started even before the 'incident' that caused her to call our friendship over.  I want to say that it's because she started going to church and I didn't go. We had started looking for a church to attend together, and went to a few, however she went to WAVE and was hooked.  I can't stand a lot of noise and huge crowds, if you know WAVE you know that is exactly what it is.  I have a hard time going to church, my back and legs hurt all the time--non stop.  When sitting for longer than 15 min it makes it even worse and it's hard to even walk sometimes after--so I don't go as often as I would like to--and when I do go I've chosen a smaller, more family like atmosphere to go to.  She never said anything but it was the comments about coming to church and then she offered to get my 12 yo daughter baptized to HER and didn't even ask me.  She has done things too--she trained my daughter and started her love of running, she took A to Disney for the Princess run down there---(and on the top side that looks like a great thing to do, but she never once asked me if I wanted to go along, and the whole trip was nothing but stressful for myself and my daughter--including episodes where her older son thought he was in charge of her and trying to tell her what to do, when I entrusted C to be the one who was taking care of things.  My daughter was left out of many things on that trip--including not even being asked if she wanted to dress like the 4 other girls who were all dressed the same and so A stood out, she called me many times crying from down there, and when they got home C never said a word to me--she threw our stuff out of the van and that was it...)  She helped me get together stuff for my new 'granddaughter' although I paid for a new car seat for her son in payment for it.  I won't go on and on about it, but just a background, that yes, indeed I thought we were great friends.... Then comes the Shamrock run--and where we live they close the roads down on post for the runners to run through the post.  Roads are blocked, access is limited to get out or in... so another friend of mine was upset because of it--and voiced her opinion.  Keep in mind this friend's family was in because her husband was deploying in a few days and they had wanted to go somewhere.  So she said how difficult it was and she was frustrated. So the bashing began on her for 'oh it's only one day, there is no reason to complain' from various sources.. she apologized even saying that it was a bad time for her and normally it wouldn't have been so difficult for her... Not having any compassion for that and wanting to keep it up,  C posted about how this inconvience for some was a charity and raised money for a good cause and basically wasn't very nice about it.  On my own FB page I was talking about how much of a deal was made out of what my other friend said and how one of the people responsible for the bashing was a friend who also claimed to be a Christian.  Well there ya go.. I said the wrong thing. Only because she always would bring up the Bible and how you are suppose to follow it and do things by the Bible. She texts me the next day--"Are you talking about me in your status on FB?"  I didn't lie--I told her yes, I was, because I didn't understand how she couldn't show kindness to someone going through all that (when we are all military wives and have been through deployments) and that I may not go to church all the time but I do know that and to ask  yourself what would Jesus do---and told her I was doing school with my daughter and didn't have time to talk about it more right then.  She returns a message and says, "I call this friendship over.  You keep you and yours away from me and mine."   Oh, she did say that when I asked what would Jesus do---and she said whatever the Bible says..Okay, so what does the Bible say about conflict????   Matthew 18 15:17  "If your brother sins against you, go to him and show him his fault.  But do it privately, just between yourselves.  If he listens to you, you have won your brother back.  But if he will not listen to you, take one or two other persons with you, so that every accusation may be upheld by the testimony of two or more witnesses, as the scripture says.  And if he will not listen to them, then tell the whole thing to the church.  Finally, if he will not listen to the church, treat him as though he were a pagan or a tax collector. "
Now, since she told me to leave her and hers alone, I did not try to speak with just her about this.  There was an opportunity for her to speak to me with two other witnesses and she refused, saying she wasn't dealing with it.  And now she brings someone else to attack me about a problem she should have brought to me. 

I know her--I know how she is, I listened to her many times tell me stories about other people, --various stories about people who tried to commit suicide, about people who drink and party too much, getting divorced, don't take care of their kids, how they are controlling and must have things their own way.  Why she even told me stories about her now best friend and how she couldn't stand her walking into her house uninvited, even walking up her stairs into her bedroom without being invited while C was napping, her(D's) house is so filthy it makes you want to puke when you walk in (that is a personal experience in trying to help C while she was caring for the other woman's dog one time.)  How she doesn't pay attention to where her children are and the bad kids that they hang around with---whether any of it's true other than the house I seen and smelled for myself I do not know, I only know what C told me... and now they are best friends...  D told me at one point that I should 'control my daughter, you only have one!!!"  I asked her like she controls hers?  She said what do you know about how I care for my kids--my response was I know nothing about you other than what SHE told me about you (meaning C).  D went on to say, well what did she say, open up your mouth and tell me.  I told her that no, I wasn't repeating everything she said, because the Bible says you are not suppose to gossip and I shouldn't have brought it up.  C says, "I Just love how you throw the word Bible around.  Christianity is not a weapon."  I told her I wasn't using it as a weapon, but as a guide.  
So is that using it as a weapon?  Was I wrong in doing that?  Because she has me questioning everything I think it suppose to be right.  
And you know something?  She KNOWS I have fibromylagia.  She also KNOWS I have a hard time getting my words out of my mouth right especially when I'm being attacked and stressed and upset... so that tells me she just doesn't care.. she didn't just try to talk to me, or wait until DH  was home--because this was at 10:30am--she could have said something when he was here, he is a parent of A too--but she chose the coward way out attacking me with 2 other women beside her... She allowed D to attack me over many things and when I told her she has nothing to do with this stay out of it and shut up--she says, "Well I am involved, you involved me when you deleted me off of your page and because she is my best friend."  (I run a FB page for our community where we live---there is also a disclaimer that I have the right to delete someone who hurts my family because we all know not everyone gets along--and it's my page, I can delete who I want--I don't just do it to anyone, there are some people on there that I don't talk to or get along with that great, but they are there because they have done nothing personally to me.  This woman is not someone I would ever consider a friend--anyone who lives like she does, talks like she does and raises her children like she does would NEVER be someone I would want around me or my children. I never liked her from the first moment I met her and the last straw was this mess and her being C's BFF---Oh and C deleted herself, I did not delete her.  She deleted and blocked me from FB when she called our friendship over. 

I can only hope that the people around us will be wise enough to see through her words when she tells her twisted truths of what is going on...  I try to to live a life where I am kind to all.... I would do anything for anyone, and only would like to be treated as I treat others...

Okay

So-- I've always wanted to just be kind to people--I'm an RN as profession and I loved when I was able to care for people when they needed help.  All I expect is for others to be kind also and not waiver from that Golden Rule...Wouldn't the world be a better place if everyone just did that?
I'm not perfect, I DO NOT claim to have done nothing I shouldn't have.  There are things that I wish I could say I'm sorry about....

But that time is past... and now I'm not sure what to do about the situation.  It is so frustrating when people you thought you knew really are not who you thought they were.  AND the fact that they live next door is not better for the situation.

I'm not condoning what my daughter did.  She was punished for the doorbell incident, made to write an apology,  she was also made to go scrub the public sidewalk and there was no point in saying sorry because that was after she threatened us with harassment--so I'm not taking a chance or giving her the opportunity that even thought she was saying sorry it was just something else to upset her or her children.  We have talked to her to explain that yes, she hurt me, but that it's time to move on, to just act like they no longer exist in this universe, ignore their presence, their words, anything to do with them.  I've done my best to reflect on this and what I've done wrong and my part of it, I'm trying to let it make me a better person, someone that I can be proud of and truly say that I am following what I really believe... that things should be fair, that people should be nice to one another, even if you don't like someone you can still be kind--it doesn't hurt anything.  I said (or rather) typed the wrong thing, I wasn't given a real chance to explain it all and the person that is on the other end knows how my mind doesn't work right sometimes....and apparently I was not important enough in her life to give 'our' friendship a chance.  TO Forgive.  But God knows what he is doing.. I do know that.. because her and the people she hangs around with and calls her best friends and says "I love you" to are not someone I would want in my life anyway.

However, this does not mean that I will allow someone to threaten and attack me.  Talking about something is one thing--threatening and saying that you are going to go to the mps over something a 12 yo did that did not hurt anyone physically and was stopped as soon as we knew about it---well that makes no sense.
So for now, I'm keeping documentation of every time her kids crash into the living room wall and sounds like they are coming THROUGH the wall, how she waters her front yard and has a hose that makes half of my front porch all wet so I can't even put my outdoor furniture with cushions on it out there, how her grass and the weeds in her yard are now up over top of the dividing wall to our yard and now coming OVER into our yard... not to mention the grass that grows at the fence line that comes into our side at the height of 8-10 inches because she doesn't cut them (which is WHY we have plywood up against our fence--because our dogs eat the long grass and then throw it up..) ---I'm keeping track of it all... she wants to play this game I'm not going to roll over and just take it.  I've said nothing to her all this time for these things because we were friends, and friends just let stuff like that slide so you don't mess up the friendship--but now, well now.. it doesn't really matter does it??
That's all I'm going to say about this right now.   Some may say that I shouldn't even have done this--but I know from what is getting back to me that she isn't telling the whole story...and I hope that those who truly know me know that my heart is good and I would do anything for anyone...